rachel@home

Adventures in Moving, Part 1

When moving from a 4-bedroom house to a 2-bedroom apartment, certain sacrifices must be made. In my current situation, most of my sacrifices involved large pieces of furniture. Some items are non-negotiable, such as the buffet and the piano, as well as two computers which need somewhere to live, which means that there is less room than usual for the standard things like oh, couches and tables and chairs.

So I began my adventure of advertising furniture for sale, dealing with people who want to buy furniture, and watching them come and pick it up. One thing I learned is that people are flakes! I had so many people say that they wanted something, even agree to come pick it up, and then change their mind at the last minute. This really annoyed me when I'd turned other people expressing interest in the same piece down, telling them it was already taken. And then I was back to square one again.

It was very funny, though, to compare and contrast the various styles that people have. Here's some of them:

The Fussbudgets

This couple emailed me and said that they were interested in looking at the furniture I'd advertised, but gave no details. I said, okay, come on over. And they did. They brought their two little boys with them, who were somewhere in the 2-5 range. When they got here, they seemed to think I should know what they were interested in. Sadly, my ESP is not quite up to par, and so I was clueless. They wanted to see the bunkbeds, so I showed them the beds.

They then proceeded to ask a million questions. The beds were set up separately, and when they're set up as two twin beds, you take one of the higher pieces and hook it up to one of the lower pieces, and it makes a bed with a headboard and a footboard. When you want to make bunkbeds, you make one bed with two of the higher pieces, and one bed with two of the lower pieces, and set the bed made with the lower pieces on top of the bed with the higher pieces. It took them a really long time to grasp this concept. I practiced my deep breathing as I explained it to them for the tenth time. Finally, I drew a picture.

After they figured that out, they wanted to know where the bedrail went, where the ladder went, how the bed was put together, did I have instructions to put the bed together, and on and on and on. I think they asked each question about six times. They were highly concerned that the screws needed an allan wrench, because those things, you know, come in many different sizes. I told him I'd give him one, and that seemed to only partially satisfy him. I think what he really wanted was for me to offer to come to his house and set them up, but there was no way that was going to happen. The funny thing is, I'm almost certain he has some type of engineering degree.

They finally decided that they wanted the beds, but tried to talk me down from my original $150 price to $100. I offered $125, which I thought was a pretty good deal, as the beds are solid wood. They were still trying to bargain, but I was running out of patience. He did the trailing off, well, they just didn't know, and I told him that was fine, and to email me if he changed his mind. Then they decided to buy the beds.

We arranged for them to pick them up the next day, as I had dinner plans and was worried I was going to be late what with all the endless circular discussion of the bunk beds. I said I'd take the beds apart, and he offered to help, but told me that I was very "self-sufficent" when I said I could manage on my own. Someone probably would have taken an allen wrench to the eye if he'd been helping me disassemble the beds.

They also wanted the couch, but wanted me to deliver it. They tried to talk me into delivering it for quite some time, but made no progress there. They also looked longingly at the glass coffee tables, but said that with their troublesome boys, they just couldn't have those in their house. When they found out I had girls, there were many comments about how much easier and less trouble girls were. I refrained from offering them parenting advice.

The next day, the wife arrived alone to pick up the beds. She hadn't been talking too much the day before, so I was pleased that it was just her. But, as it turned out, she didn't need to talk much to be just as annoying. We got all the bed stuff out into her car fairly quickly. I was waiting for my money, and was ready for this all to be over. Little did I know, we had only just begun.

When everything was nicely loaded in her minivan, and I was ready to close the doors and wish her godspeed, she reached in and pulled out an entire bag full of bungee cords. With these, she planned to secure the beds. Silly me, I thought that they already were secure. I did not know how much more secure they could get. A tornado wouldn't have ripped those from the van after she was done with them.

We spent a good fifteen minutes wrapping bungee cords around various parts of the bed, moving certain parts of the bed to different parts of the van, because they were "loose" and securing everything so securely it hurt. Then she underpaid me by $5. I was too annoyed and wanting to be done with the whole process to even say anything. He did email me later and apologize, and offer to send the extra money, but I never responded.

The Buff Girls

I was corresponding with a girl who seemed really excited to buy the couch. She arranged a time to come get it, and actually showed up. Since she was the third person who had said they'd take the couch, I loved her already.

She arrived and I opened the door, she was a tiny little thing, and looked like a stiff wind could blow her away. At first, I didn't see anyone else with her, and was starting to get worried. Then the second girl came to the door, just as tiny as the first. I had my doubts, but they said they moved heavy stuff all the time at work. And sure enough, they did.

They were very funny, as they picked up the heavy part of the couch like it was nothing, the first girl commented on all the various things that were underneath the couch. The only item she didn't mention, out of about a dozen, was the pair of underwear that was discovered. We even found a library book that was only a year and a half overdue. They were in and out in about fifteen minutes, after they threw both parts of the couch in the back of their pickup truck.

Reckless Abandon

This girl was the anti-fussbudget. She arrived to pick up two glass-topped coffee tables in a pickup truck, but without even a towel to wrap the glass in. I almost offered her one of mine, but figured it was up to her to make this work.

She brought a friend to help her, and he got both bases in the car, and then they had the glass. To my horror, which I attempted to disguise, he put one piece of glass right on the bottom of the pickup truck, and they put the other glass in the backseat of the cab. I hope they made it home okay.

Teamwork

This couple arrived with their 2-year-old named Abby, and bought the oak dining room table and six chairs, and arrived in a minivan. That seemed a bit optimistic to me. I helped them get everything out to the curb, and then they seemed to be ready to take it from there on their own, so I went back inside.

I was really sure that they were going to have to make two trips, but they kept working at fitting everything in. At one point, I think they dropped the whole tabletop out the back of the van, as there was a horrible crash, and the toddler started crying. I happened to glance out the window as they closed the door, with the table and all six chairs inside, and saw them high-five each other before they got in the car to drive home.

He-Man

A couple arrived to pick up the washer and dryer today. They had a truck, and a dolly, but they parked at the very end of the driveway. She paid me, and I ran inside to find change, and when I came back out, they'd already loaded the washer.

I watched him load the dryer. He wheeled it down on the dolly, then, and I am not making this up, or even exaggerating, he picked up the washer and lifted it into the truck, all by himself. Abby and I were very impressed. It was at least three feet off the ground, but he didn't even look like he was trying that hard.

Posted by Rachel at July 20, 2003 11:08 PM